Turn It Off

Love. Love, love, love, what is it good for? Absolutely nothing. It is nothing more than a concept that some people interpret into a feeling. You can say that you love something simple like I love beer. That isn't deep, but it is a form of love. That used to be my perspective on love. For the past eighteen years I couldn't give less of a fuck about love to say the least. I lived off of boozed one night stands, and that was not love and it never will be love. I never remembered one of the many names, and I suppose that's a blessing in disguise. Then, everyone believes that you should love your parents no matter what. I detest my father ever since the day he left us. No note, no phone calls, no nothing. That gives my whole family to detest the man who fucked everything up. I can't deny that I did once love my father, and I wanted to grow up to be just like him. I wanted to have a family as great as the one we once had. Now, if that man dropped dead today I wouldn't shed a tear. Karma's a bitch.

Is Two-Bit Matthews falling in love? Is this day actually happening?! I dunno. Whenever I look into her teal eyes I melt. I don't see just another pair of plain ol' eyes as I do in everyone else. I can tell whether she is in a good mood or a bad mood just by her eyes. And when she's in a good mood? Her eyes sparkle, and they shine brighter than any other star in the sky. On good days she is a greek goddess, and I think to myself how could someone like me have someone as breath taking as her? Then there are those bad days that most girls have. Those days when she won't take my compliments, and thinks so poorly of herself. She can never see what I see, and what I see is the most gorgeous girl in the world who can never come to realization with her stunning looks with or without makeup.

I don't know if you want to call what we have love. I care for her, but I don't know if I'm in love. Whatever we may have is pretty damn close to it, and although we are not "official" I know that she's mine and I'm hers. As simple as that.

The house was quiet. It has always been quiet, but with the absence of Blair it is now more quiet. I don't know how to describe it, but neither of us know how to deal with this situation. I refuse to talk to my dad about it like Audrey's been doing, but Blair has never been normal. She's always been slightly off, but there was a time when she was full of life. Her eyes always sparkled with excitement, and she gushed about the smallest things. Blair stopped talking maybe a year or two after dad left. At the time no one knew how to deal with it. She was always secluded, and unreadable. All we thought that it was one of her games that she always played. The type of games that only involved herself, and everyone else was just a game piece. Now? Blair is out of control to say the least, and none of us know who that monster has become and what she has done with the sweet innocent child she once was. Her demons are officially eating her from the inside out.

Her head was pressed against my chest, and it's turned into a routine lately. Late nights are usually when she comes. No calls, no texts, but I can always expect to wake up to that beautiful face in the mornings. Maybe that's one of the perks of having what we have. People say communication is key, but the blissful moments of staring into each other's eyes saying absolutely nothing. Yet again, this sounds disgustingly cheesy, but she saved me in more ways than one. And I like to think that I saved her too.

"I don't want to go to school." Kitty whined into my chest.

"I don't want to either. Let's play hooky." I said nonchalantly.

Kitty shook her head at me, pieces of her long dark hair falling into her face. Her tall frame exited the bed, and I immediately gave her a playful pout hating the absence in my bed.

"I almost forgot something." Kitty said deviously, grabbing the bed sheet to wrap around her bare body leaving me cold and pulling me out of the bed.

~~~~
im coming over 2nite we r getting drunk

Cocking an eyebrow as I read Dally's text, I began to think about the young night lying ahead of us. It was merely four in the afternoon, and no one was home. It was just me with an empty fridge of booze, but then the guilt sunk in. I promised Kitty and everyone else around me that I'd lay off on drinking. Then that part of me came in that overpowered every other feeling. Just one beer I promised myself. Then maybe some vodka, that's it. No more.

dont be a pussy

Opening the fridge in front of me I pulled out one Budlight, and grinned to myself. The girls were having a girls night, and that left the guys for a guy night. I mean what was the worst that could possibly happen?

come over and invite the others

Within thirty minutes Dally, Steve, and the others spilled into my confined living room minus all of the Curtis boys. Then the craziness began. Once the bottles were opened, nothing good came out of that night absolutely nothing.

I can't say much about that night, because I don't remember much. Until the girlfriends came in. People were either passed out or they were in that drunken state where they couldn't even form words. It was not pretty, but it was a hell of a party. I can't say the same for the girls, because usually they would be all in for that but it was not the time nor the place. Rhyan and Dally argued for all of a minute before they started making out in the kitchen, and Kitty slowly made her way over to me.

"You promised me..." She began.

Letting out a loud laugh, I pressed a finger to her lips and smiled at her. My drunken actions had caused her to grin, and she forgot all about what happened. Even in my intoxicated state I didn't try anything on her. I don't want her to do anything that she'd forget, because I don't think I'd bear to see a broken Kitty. If she is broken that will break me. I tell the guys that we sleep together, and what not but in the midst reality the most we do is sleep naked together. Nothing more.

The rest of the night was a blur until the sobriety kicked in. Dallas was passed out on the floor with his hand in his pants, and Kitty and I stayed awake watching TV. It was just the three of us in the living room, I assumed the others stumbled back home or were passed out somewhere in the house. Rubbing my tired eyes I looked at the digital clock. 6:30. Holy shit.

That was when the hangover began to sink in, but it was fine. It was more or less a dull headache, because I've grown accustomed to them. Kitty was half awake, her body cuddled into mine. Then the shower turned on, and confusion engulfed my mind. Audrey wouldn't be awake, and the others wouldn't be awake. A figure walked downstairs, and it took me a minute to process what was actually happening. Kitty let out a yawn, and rubbed her beautiful blue eyes.

"SODA WHAT THE FUCK?"

Soda had tried to dart past us, and out the front door. He was buckling his pants buckle, and Blair's bare feet pit patted down the stairs wearing nothing but a towel. I looked at the two of them, and Soda gulped. This was not happening... this was not happening. Soda slept with my kid sister? Why the hell? What about Jelly? Anger flickered in my eyes, and Kitty knew what was going to happen but she did nothing for me to stop it.

"It's not what it looks like."

"What does it look like, Soda? Hm?" Kitty said, getting up from the couch.

"You're sleeping with Two-Bit." Soda blurted.

The two of us couldn't but laugh at his ridiculous accusation and it was only the matter of thirty seconds before I had Soda in a headlock detested by what he had done. Especially to my poor innocent sister in such a vulnerable state of mind.

Once our fight was over he quickly left the house, and Kitty and I went back to where we were on the couch snuggled into each other acting like nothing had happened.