Everything was so simple when you're a kid. All that mattered was what time Mickey Mouse was on (now that I think about it nothing has changed... for me at least). But, when you're a kid all of the bad in the world can't touch you, because in a way it is invincible or plain old ignorance. Everyone deserves to be at that stage again, and out of everyone I can think of it has to be Blair. Some days, I miss the talkative energetic Blair that was full of smiles and laughter, just like any other Mathews child. Audrey and I were so close in age that we were almost identical, and people mistook us as twins. Blair was different. When she was ten years old she just stopped talking. No one knew why, but she just stopped talking. And to this day nothing has changed.
"We were this close to fucking."
"You're gross."
"Oh, I love it when you talk dirty to me."
We were all hanging out at DX bothering Soda and Steve in their natural habitat, and to no surprise Dally was telling everyone his adventures of which girl he had fucked over the weekend, and Bre was being Bre. She was constantly commenting on his pig like personality while everyone mentally raised their glass at him. Good for him. None of us could say that out loud without any of the girls smacking us.
"Two-Bit are you okay?"
"You seem kinda out of it."
Concerned voices rang all around me, my eyes fixated on the near distance beyond Tulsa.
"I, yeah of course. When is there a party?"
Everyone cocked an eyebrow at me in confusion, and Kitty placed a hand on my shoulder.
"Tibby?"
I nodded. It felt like I was on another planet. My body was with the gang, but my heart and soul were so far away. They were beyond this gas station, beyond Tulsa, and I wasn't myself. I wasn't worried about the girl haunting my dreams at night, the girl that made me go soft and I can't even talk about her without smiling like an idiot. This time was different. My mind was concerned about two of the most important girls in my life. My sisters.
"Hey, I'm gong to head home. I got a six pack with my name on it."
Everyone had the same chorused response of "bye Two-Bit". Getting into my old beat up Ford I went back to my house, because the worried pit in my stomach made me feel physically sick.
Walking in through the front door I balled my fists. Memories flooded my brain. One in particular. When Freddy took his anger out on Blair when Audrey was at school and mom was at work. Her eye was swollen shut, and that was the last time I let her be alone with that monster. And then it hit me.
Did she stop talking because of that? Our parents splitting up? Or maybe it was just the simplest thing that I myself have not noticed in ten years.
She did it for power and control. The type of control that an alcoholic gets when they will themselves to only one drink and end up passed out behind a dumpster. Then the power that someone gets of not eating for a certain amount of time or harming themselves in anyway just because of the endorphins the brain releases.
All of us have been too ignorant to ask her why she never talks, but no one has cared enough to do anything about it. She was sitting in the kitchen her cold eyes fixed on an old photograph.
"Blair?"
No answer.
"Enough with the dark shit, okay? Blair, stop for the love of god. You're worrying all of us sick."
Then she smiled that unreadable Blair smile that simply says that "you don't know me and you never will".
